P>a good place to go on a first date is a fairly quiet and cosy restaurant

A good place to go on a first date is a fairly quiet and cosy restaurant.You’ll have an opportunity to relax with your date in the right atmosphere where you can chat and get to know each other.

Avoid noisy crowded places where it will be difficult to talk. Cinemas are also to be avoided. Without being consciously aware of it your date could compare you with the actors on screen whose job it is to look good for a living.

Choose a scarey film if you do go to the cinema. Why? Experiments have shown that when strangers of the opposite sex met in situations that contain elements of danger they rate each other as more attractive than in none dangerous situations. We all know that sitting in the cinema isn’t dngerous. However your unconscious mind does not know this and sees the on screen danger as real.

Remember that it’s you they have asked out or accepted a date with so do be yourself. That’s the person that your date wants to spend their evening with. You’ll obviously make an effort with your appearance before going out. Once you are with your date concentrate on them. Be a good listener. You can learn to do this by practising the technique of active listening. That’s the kind of listening that therapists and counsellors use in dealing with their clients. What’s involved is giving the other person 100% of your attention when they are speaking.

Commonly in everday conversations we only give the speaker 50% of our attention. That’s because we are thinking about what we intend to say next. You can practice active listening in everyday conversation so it will come more naturally to you when you are out on a date.

You can learn a lot about your date quickly if you keep your eyes and ears open. Two human activities are only partly under conscious control. These are eating and sex. Your dates eating habits can give you a clue as to what to expect in the bedroom. A date who has unusual or very particular requirements about food normally falls into the same category when it comes to sex.

Generally speaking the person with a balanced attitude to eating has a similar well-adjusted attitude to sex.

If your date checks the bill, pays and leaves a reasonable but not lavish tip this shows a sane attitude towards money. Glancing at the bill without checking it and leaving an unnecessarily large tip is not a positive indicator. Neither is calculating the VAT on every portion of vegetables. If you and your date eventually become life partners you’ll be making joint financial decisions so knowing their attitude to money is important.

Finally look at how your date behaves towards waiters, taxi drivers etc in other words people that she/he isn’t trying to impress. This will tell you how your date normally treats people.

The way that your date is behaving towards you now is not a good guide to how they will behave in future.That’s because they are currently out to impress you. Watch the way your date behaves towards people who s/he isn’t trying to impress to get a true picture of what to expect if you become their life partner.

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