If you are confused after a break up, then join the club, you are one of many of us

If you are confused after a break up, then join the club, you are one of many of us… Most of us get so overwhelmed with our emotions, that we don’t even give ourselves time to think about our actions. We begin to act out of panic, out of instinct, and we may find ourselves later, regretting our actions (and despite good intentions, unwillingly do more damage than good).

Here are some tips you can use to stop your breakup and help you get your ex back.

First off, you need to realize that breaking up can hurt. You cannot eliminate that completely, but there is a lot you can do to get you handle the pain much better.

You may find yourself depressed, or angry, and one easy solution is to escape into drugs. It isn’t often a conscience decision, but you may find yourself gradually increasing your drug usage. This includes alcohol. Drinking, or the use of other drugs, will make things worse. It is hard enough to control our emotions after a break up, drugs will make our decisions worse, and even more erratic.

On top of that, that will not make you more attractive to your ex in any way… The opposite will happen. If you think about it, you will find it hard to remember a situation where alcohol or drugs have helped anyone get their ex back or save a relationship. Keep that in mind.

If you keep your happiness as your driving force and in the name of saving your relationship it will hopefully be easier for you to resist the drugs and alcohol.

You should also avoid harassment. Now, this may sound obvious, but many people harass their ex’s without knowing it. Don’t call them every 5 minutes, or send them emails, or text messages to let them know you are constantly thinking of them. This is off-putting. People are programmed to reject neediness.

Give your ex some space. Your ex will not only appreciate it, but it will also benefit you. The more space and time that you spend away from your ex, will make it easier for you to clear your head.

This will also have an additional psychological advantage.

Your ex will begin to miss you and you will be more often on their mind. This is a big advantage and much stronger position to act from. Begging, pleading and bombarding your ex with attention will push them only further away.

Lastly, don’t wait for your ex to come to you. You have to realize that probably you are at fault (at least to a degree) if they decided to break up with you. Your ex may be as well, but you can not change the way they are for the moment. You do have the power to change yourself however. Waiting for your ex to make a move will make it easier for you fall into depression and it’s unlikely that anything at all positive will come out of it.

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