Men and women are obviously built differently

Men and women are obviously built differently.  Arguments are bound to happen in just about every relationship at one time or another.  You will argue and sometimes you will even win a few. A couple of things to keep in mind:

Keep Your Head About You

Know that women often times may start arguments with you because they are mad about something else.  It may even seem as though she is attempting to pick a fight.  This is when you need to show patience. Let her vent, try to speak as little as possible and move slowly away.  This likely has nothing to do with you, but the fact that you didn’t replace the toilet paper might set her off. It has nothing to do with the toilet paper, but there will be some hell to pay for you.  When she cools down, try and find the underlying cause of her blow up.

Never

Threaten divorce or splitting up.  Throwing out empty threats unless you are really going to act on them is just going to cause a rift that may never be repaired.  Something’s you can never take back and this is one of those things you don’t want to flirt with, unless you are going to walk.

Raise your hand or hit your significant other.  And no, as funny as the Chris Rock joke is, shaking your spouse isn’t allowed either.  Not only will your relationship as you know it be over, but why risk being hauled away by cops?  If you’re feeling as though you may do something, you need to take a walk.  Leave, cool down, and get your head straight. We have all been there, and she knows exactly which buttons to press, but this does not give you an excuse to commit assault.  Do you want to forever be known as that guy who beats his wife?

Make Ground Rules

Not when you are in battle, but when things are good between the both of you talk about some things that prove to be difficult during an argument and you can usually get her to agree not to do them.  You will have to concede some things of your own.  Yes that’s right, she is not happy when you leave and go get drunk with your friends.  You may have to give this up, but trust me; it’s a small price to pay for happiness.

Yelling

Understand that yelling is a sign of disrespect.  Often when there is an argument it is unavoidable.   Remember this: you will never out do her in a yelling match.  Not to mention it is a waste of energy.  Try and compose yourself.  If you start forming good habits during an argument she is likely to fall suit.  You don’t want to ultimately be in a relationship where you guys are constantly yelling at each other.  It gets old fast.

Have Some Thick Skin

Women will sometimes push your buttons just to get a reaction out of you.  Sometimes her anger or frustration has nothing to do with you and she is taking it out on the closest person to her.  Sometimes it is you, either way you need to man up.  Paper thin skin will get you nowhere.  Have a backbone and be able to take the comments or remarks thrown at you.  This is different from being a punching bag however.  You deserve respect to the extent you provide it.  Learn to balance the two.  There is always a line that shouldn’t be crossed.

Holding a Grudge

Understand this, you may be tough and capable of holding a grudge longer than any of your male counterparts, but women can hold one longer than you.  It is a losing battle when trying to compete with her in a battle of seeing who will blink first.  You will inevitably argue with your significant other.   Be the bigger person and extend the olive branch.  By doing so you do two things: you disarm her from all ammunition against you, and two you limit the aftermath of post argument syndrome.  Post argument syndrome is where she repeatedly brings old things up and you have to rehash your argument, further causing that little irritation behind your eye that makes you want to jab a pencil in it.  Save holding a grudge for acts when she does any one of the following:

  • Cheats on you.  In which case, you should end the relationship.  No second chances.
  • Acts of violence.  In which case, you need to leave for safety reasons.
  • Harms your child, parent, or pet.  In which case she is just a bad human being.

Fighting to Win

She will test you; she will even say things to ignite an argument.  Somehow we always take the bait.  Part of the problem is that men are very rational beings, even to a fault.  Women on the other hand become very irrational when quarreling.  Think about this when you are fighting to win during an argument.  You can never win in this argument because you cannot compete with irrational behavior.  Someone acting or behaving irrational can never nor will ever see your point.  This just makes matters worse as the argument will escalate as your frustration grows.

The Grass Isn’t Greener

You are tired of the constant quarrelling.  You’re tired of her stuff all over the place.  You’re tired of this that and the other.  Inevitably you may receive some interest from a new girl.  She’s cute, she’s into you, and you start thinking this is the girl you should be with.  “She is different, she will make me happier, she likes what I like, and WOW she doesn’t bitch and complain about everything I do!”  The truth is she is the same. She will eventually clutter your house with stuff, she will bitch and complain about you, and you will inevitably argue about stuff.  The grass isn’t greener on the other side.

Take a look at what is wrong with your relationship.  Sometimes people fall out of love it’s natural.  We are all humans, but if you still love her then you should work on fixing your problems, not abandoning ship.  Especially if those reasons for leaving are those things that are just going to be passed on to the next relationship.  Think about how it was when you first met the girl you are with.  Probably the same thing happened, the same feelings, maybe even some of the same thoughts if you were with someone else at the time.  Think about how your relationship has changed over time.  Is it worth throwing away all the work you have put into this relationship?  If she is a keeper and you really love her, then work on it.

Going to Bed Angry

Not going to bed angry is a myth.  Sometimes it’s just better to sleep it off and work things out with cooler heads.  Instead of not going to bed mad, just make sure that you do something like kiss every night before you go to sleep.  That way you can sort of say, “I’m still pissed at you, but I love you”.  It’s more like a temporary peace treaty, until you can resume your discussion and iron things out.  Sometimes this whole myth about ‘not going to be angry’ seems forced and unnatural.  Each relationship is different and each argument is different.  Try the kiss thing, even if it’s a peck, you may find that it’s an excellent ice breaker.

The “Mood” Factor

If you have been with someone for a while you know what makes her cranky like a kid.  Why provoke a person during the worst possible time.  Everyone is different and part about being a good spouse is learning what makes the other tick.  You could save yourselves numerous meaningless fights by doing so.

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