Have you been caught out by an online dating cheat

Have you been caught out by an online dating cheat? I have, and can help you avoid that. As in most things, there are people around who are less than honest and can be seen to be dating cheats. By ‘cheats’ I mean people who describe a false history about themselves, claim to be single when they are not, and so on.

The very best cheats are very credible and can bluff the best of us. I have friends who have been ‘conned’ for many months by serial cheats. We have shared our online dating experiences and I understand what it is to find out that someone you are keen on turns out to be an online dating fraud. My tips can help you avoid that emotional investment and disappointment.

OK, so what about the tips for spotting these characters? None of these tips hold true in all cases, and you cannot easily tell if a genuinely single person is not interested in a long term relationship unless they say so (and assuming that is what you also want). The tips will help establish a pattern which will put you on your guard.

1. Tip #1 – Online Dating Phone Numbers

You have progressed past first email contact and start talking on the phone. Usually, a genuine man would usually offer his phone number, assuming that a lady may not want to disclose her number at an early stage. If the arrangement is always that the other person calls you, then that is a potential signal (whether the other person is a man or woman).

If the other person says that they can only be called on their mobile phone or that they don’t have a landline phone number then that could be another signal. In today’s age, there are people who genuinely do not have landline phone numbers, relying on mobile phones and Skype. So, you should be able to Skype them at home in the evening (though of course you cannot be absolutely sure that they are at home).

2. Tip #2 – Telephone Talk Timing

Most working people cannot take personal calls at work (especially online dating calls), and that is fine. However, if you find that the other person is saying things like:

Only call me on Tuesdays and Thursdays… or I can’t do evenings because mobile reception is bad at home (and don’t have a landline)… or I’ll call you on Friday at 8pm…and so on..

..then these are also signs of potential evasion or dishonesty. Can’t they talk in a lunch break?

3. Tip #3 – Where do we Meet?

Usually, the first one or two dates are on neutral territory. After that, people start travelling to each other’s areas or home towns. If you detect unwillingness on the part of the other person to meet you on their territory, then this could be a another red sign and that not all is true in their online dating profile.

Do you have their home address? You can test this by saying ‘I’d like to see where you live, can we drive past’?

In Summary

These 3 key tips are powerful for identifying online dating cheats. There are others.

In spite of all this, most people are genuine, so enjoy your dating!

© 2010 Phil Marks

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